


April Fools

by merelypassingtime



Category: Venom (Movie 2018)
Genre: Crack, Dialogue-Only, Established Relationship, I'm Sorry, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-01
Updated: 2019-04-01
Packaged: 2019-12-30 08:07:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 380
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18311600
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/merelypassingtime/pseuds/merelypassingtime
Summary: They’re both fools, so they were already halfway there.





	April Fools

**Author's Note:**

> I have no excuse.  
> I am truly sorry for this.

**Uh-no.**

What is it Vee?

**Um. Nothing.**

You’re a terrible liar you know.

**Am not. I am a very good liar. After all, you think I really like the shirt you are wearing.**

Hey! You said it looked good.

**And you believed me, because I am a great liar.**

Maybe, but you are bad at deflection. What is wrong?

**Nothing… I just might need some of what you call ‘alone time.’**

What?! You are leaving me?

**NO! Never leaving my Eddie. But you might not want to be me around for the next several hours.**

Why? What is wrong?

**It is hard to explain.**

Try, please? You’re worrying me.

**I will be entering a stage of… heightened activity. Where I will be increasingly sensitive and I will not be able to stop my thoughts and emotions from traveling through our bond and affecting you physically.**

Physically how?

**Your blood pressure would increase, your breathing might become more rapid, you would become painfully aroused…**

Painfully what now?

**Aroused.**

Hmm… So, not being able to block your emotions would make me aroused?

**Yes.**

Because you’re really horny right now?

**...yes…**

Venom, are you going into heat?

**I guess you could call it that. I am sorry Eddie. I can leave and come back after it is over.**

(already stripping off his shirt to be thrown away) No! Come out here and we’ll get through this together.

_Several hours later, as Eddie is lying nearly comatose in what remains of their bed next to a formless, black puddle of symbiote._

**April Fools!**

What?

**I said, ‘April Fools.’**

No, I heard you. What do you mean?

**I thought it was traditional for humans to play pranks on one another today.**

Well, yesterday now, but yeah…?

**So, I tricked you.**

Tricked me? Are you saying you weren’t really in heat?

**No, Eddie. April Fools!**

Wow.

**Yes. I am good at lying.**

I can’t argue. That was the best prank ever anybody’s ever pulled on me.

**Really?**

Yup. Feel free to pull it again any time, love.

**But it is a whole year until April Fool’s again.**

Yeah, but it is only a couple weeks until Easter. 

**What is Easter?**

It’s an old celebration of fertility.

**Oh. That is appropriate since I am now pregnant.**

WHAT!?!


End file.
